My speaking service is something that might seem silly, but it was a big deal to me, and something that I really need to work on. I am a very reserved person, I am independent and I don’t mind being alone. But I know that I need to talk to people more, listen to them more, and show interest in them more so that the friendships that I have can grow, instead of just die off like they normally do.
So for this project, I decided I would call a friend and talk at least once a week, and I would also carry on an engaging and polite conversation with those that came up and talked to me. This included making eye contact, smiling more, and asking questions. All things that I am bad at since I am such an independent person haha.
Every week I would call my friend Mary Beth Allen, who has become my best friend other than my husband. She moved back home since she is graduating this semester and she just did her last semester online. She is probably the closest friend I have ever had and that’s because I’ve been able to keep up with the communication! We call and talk and it goes about 30 min on average. She is going through some hard things, as am I, so talking to her has not only allowed me to keep the friendship going and having someone there to talk to, but it also helps her with the things that are going on in her life.
I also would talk with people at school. This is a big deal, because normally I just like to be left alone and don’t like stopping and talking to people. But when people would come and say hi to me in between classes, during a class, when I’m at home, or even at the store I would carry on a conversation with them! This sounds so silly, but it’s different and I know it’s making a difference.
What I’ve learned is that if you make people like themselves, they like you. The more you talk to someone and make them feel good, the more they like to be around you and talk to you. I’ve also learned that no matter how long you try to talk to someone and be interested in what they are saying there are still those people that are just annoying. =) Doing this speaking service has allowed me to be more comfortable with those around me, and it helps with my communication as an audience in listening and looking like I am interested. And I’ve found that now, I have even actually started to be genuinely interested.
Hours: 4 hours on the phone/skyping with Mary Beth
2 hours talking with people in the halls, class, etc